Sunday, October 30, 2011
Control Does Not Equal Power!!!
When I was younger I always tried to control the actions of others around me and let me point out to them how they could do things differently or how they did or are doing it wrong! I thought that by directing their actions I could get MY desired outcome thru them. Of course that was without giving consideration to their personal rights.
Truth of the matter is I was not in control of my own life and emotions, thus I attempted to live thru others by attempting to control how they thought and what they could and couldn't do. It wasn't until later in life that I realized how unhealthy this was and is.
Everyone has the right to think, feel, say and do as they choose, You may lend kind advice and suggestions to them, but it is still their choice whether they want to use and utilize this advice / suggestion! And if they choose not to listen to you it is not a personal attack or disrespect towards you, rather it is them exercising their right to choose for themselves the direction of their own life. (path) Whether you agree or not. And if they do choose to do differently than you advised...... you should not put them down, speak ill of them, rather you should move on with your own life's decisions. Sometimes this is doubly hard if you are in a relationship and this is a boyfriend/girlfriend situation. That is when you tend to think the other party doesn't love you because they are not doing as you want when in truth maybe you don't love them for who they are. Or they may be reacting to your choices. Either way, if you are trying to change and control them there is a strong possibility you are not in control of your own life. Therefore you may feel the need to direct and control the people around you so you can live thru them.
Here in prison I see this daily in the majority of the people I am surrounded by which has caused me to take a good hard look at the situation and learn from it. If this is happening in your life I can only suggest you analyze the problems and attempt a rational solution without degrading or abusing any one's rights. Sometimes you just have to let a loved one do as they are going to do without arguing over something that neither of you are going to come out the better from.
Hopefully this has helped ..... be well, be safe and have a nice day
Till next time.......Clutch