Latest Drawings by Clutch...............for his Grandmother

 

Rotting Away...........

I am usually a very positive person.  Lately due to feeling physically unfit I believe it has affected my mental positivity. 

I have to lay down for an hour after every meal due to weakness.
I have constant headaches for the past several years.  I believe due to the need to overuse zinc filled Polident glue.  I cant eat without over using it.  I can feel it run down my throat.  Going without teeth in a prison atmosphere is not an option.
It has become very hard for me to organize my legal material like I used to.
I haven't the finances for the copying and certified mailings I need to request.
I live off crap food as I cannot afford the quality items from commissary. 
I am basically rotting away laying in a bunk.
The only thing I have is an occasion book and or magazine from my Mother.
This is what my life has been reduced to.  So naturally I have become a bit more frustrated to say the least. 
I guess this is nothing new........ sorry


P.S.  They drew blood checking me for diabetes.  There are a lot of men here with that disease. And the prison does not offer any special diet. I believe it has come out of the low quality substances they feed us.  This system has failed miserably regarding the well being of all of the human beings in prisoned here and other place such prisons. 

photo from: www.sapphiresmoonbeams.com

Please Help Us Get Clutch Home.....

http://www.gofundme.com/ckevg0  Our first website we then moved to the one below.....
http://www.gofundme.com/dh4s64

No Word From Family.....

My daughter says she is too busy to email?
I am not stupid.  A little dumb sometimes maybe,
but not stupid.
She emails you daily.
Weeks go by without a word to me.
How do you think relationships get built???
I am a firm believer that actions speak louder than words ever will.
I constantly watch and monitor actions of those in here and out there.
You can learn a lot from observations Mom.

(Photo taken 1993, Clutch, two daughters and lil sister)
(I responded to my son with apologies for my errors as a parent that
have caused  him undo pain as his errors have caused his daughters undo pain)


THE PAIN STAYS TILL
IT'S WORKED THROUGH MOM.
I HAD SAME
WENT THRU MUCH HURT AS CHILD
SAME AS HER. NO WAY TO GET PAST TILL
YOU FORGE THAT PATH OF FORGIVENESS.
PAIN STAYS ........I KNOW FROM FIRST HAND EXPERIENCE.

Scared.............

It's alright Mom,
I get it, I understand...
I just have to get out of here soon.
I DONT WANT TO DIE IN A PLACE LIKE THIS.

"DUMPING"................by Clutch Cargoe

I haven't posted anything for my son Clutch for over a  year. Time tends to get away from us all.
I had emailed him the other day while in a less then happy mood.  In fact I was rather sad. 
I decided to share some of his wisdom from now on.  I rec'd this after telling him I was sorry.

It's okay
I understand you were "dumping" sorrow.
People need that sometimes.
I do it too.
The trick is don't get mad when someone dumps on you.
Understand they getting it off their chest and mind
and be thankful you were there for them to dump also.
They chose you - what an honor ;-]
Be kind, love well, and move on.
Dump when you need to.
The problem comes in.... when 2 people try to dump on each other at same time.
That never works as each one feels disrespected and the neither is paying enough
attention to the hurt coming from the other.
So in any dumping situation one must choose to be the bigger person
and allow the other to dump doing so with kindness and love,
which avoids arguments.
Thus therein lies the problem due to the fact
most people are so concerned with their own emotions
they become selfish and want to put the other down
and this happens due to the lack of empathy - understanding - compromise
and most of all the lack of understanding communication. As most of us do that incorrectly
hence all the life problems.
At least that's how Isee it.
Have nice day....
Your friends will make ya laugh ;-][

Photo is from: www.sapphiresmoonbeams.com