In order to survive inside these walls I've been forced to study people, their mannerisms, habits and traits. So I know how to deal within each individual or group safely. Prison does not allow open rehabilitation. Inmates will attack you if they think you are doing the right thing.
Out there you have consequences and situations daily, but not on the same plain as inside..
In here it is a much different situation. I am surrounded by society's worst!! Most of whom were never taught any kind of manners, moral, consideration, respect, self-confidence, problem solving abilities and they severely lack communication skills. They are angry at the world and blame everyone and everything else for their problems and situations because they do not know how to take responsibility. Due to this said mental state these inmates try to control others around them.
Since they do not have any of the above skills when confronted they do not understand what the next step is so they get angry and then they try to handle the situation with brute force. (Fighting and threatening physical harm) It's all they know. That said, one who wants no trouble must walk around on egg shells constantly so as not to offend any of the angry people locked up inside! They are looking for any reason to confront you and try to prove they are better and stronger than you. I guess so that they feel they are somebody!!
There are many types of personalities I am surrounded by. Most of them aren't any good as sad as that is to say. This is a very stressful situation. They say stress causes the body to age and I can attest to that. Its rough to walk around here wondering if some mental inmate will wig-out (freak out) on you if they perceive you glanced at them wrong.
Back to the different kinds of personalities a person in prison is surrounded by......
Some inmates roan from one person to another talking, questioning, looking for any type of soap opera information they can twist around and create conflict so to watch it unfold. They get a kick out of it. You have stalkers of female guards. There are habitual liars, thieves, rapists, murderers, child molesters, and women beaters and much much more all with different mental issues and views on each situation. Some of their lives are so out of control they try to control the television and every show that comes on. All because they do not know how or wont take responsibility and start to rebuild their lives.
On the flip side of this, there are those who do change and rehab themselves yet cannot openly do this due to the fact the "life hating" inmates around them wont allow it. That being said: For those of us who truly want to change as I who has been clean and sober, no trouble at all, for ten years, we have to be like camelions while walking amongst the haters of life.
Those men talk only about more crimes they will commit. They talk about getting even. I could write a book about what I have seen and heard. I guess I am in a way.
But let me add that there are some good changed people in here, and some innocent ones also.
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